Making Room

When Gordon and I were "keeping company" he would talk about "passion"....I would always wonder what my passion was.  If someone had asked me, I would have said, "Keeping kids safe and giving them the childhood they deserve."....but when Gordon and I started seeing each other, I was unemployed, and I really didn't feel like that was my passion.  And so, he would talk about it, and I would wonder, "What is MY passion?"

And so, the thought was placed in my head, and I wondered......"What is my passion?"

Fast forward to now....this life I live with my husband, and what I know is my passion is nurturing our place, our creatures, and of course....the children in my charge.....and now through all of this I seem to be nurturing the creative side of me....the side I really didn't think existed, but because I love a man whose passion is very evident....I feel that he is nurturing MY creative side.  And so I have begun working on my "Making Room"....it is not Pinterist Worthy....but it is mine....and it's more than a Sewing Room....it's where I have fiber, and stamps, and all kinds of things in it and I think I am feeling more creative because I have a space to create.

Anyway.....I am so excited about my sweet space where I can make things, and grow things and enjoy our sweet space.....and make it prettier.

My Chef

I'm grateful for my husband for so many reasons....but this weekend it hit me as I was sitting at the table at Gordon's on Blueberry Hill with a woman I've known since childhood, her partner, her daughter and grandchildren and I watched everyone at the table savoring every bite....sharing....enjoying.....and I thought, "This is my husband's work."  I think I forget....or at least take it for granted that every bite you eat of his food is amazing....his knowledge and understanding of flavors....his inspirations.....his passions....all come together to soothe and awaken your palate at the same time.

And I don't think it's because they were there with me.  I meet people on the street and they find out who my husband is and they say..."Oh my....we LOVE Gordon!" and then they'll tell me what they're favorite meal is.

Not only is he a good "cooker"....he's also a teacher and mentor to every kid who's ever come in for a job, and who could make it through the back breaking labor of working in his kitchen.  He cares about them, trains them, helps them.....and when the time comes, watches them "fly away" from their "little nest".

If Gordon weren't my husband, I would still love his food, and want to know him, and the mind behind his amazing meals.

I just wanted to share what this talented man brings into this world.  (Not to mention he's also a first class dog carer, goat wrangler, and wife helper.)

Letting Go

I've been spending time with a new friend, who is a spinner, and she has been teaching me about fiber.  Last week I went to her house and she let me sit at her wheel and try my hand at some spinning.  As I sat there, with the fiber in my hand, pushing the pedal she said to me, "You have to let go."  I looked at her and said there is something so spiritual about that, and she said absolutely.

And so....this week I've been practicing that....feeling what it feels like to let go....and I have found that there really is a lesson in that.  There are so many things we have to "let go" of.  For me it's the dream of a little "Baby Stewart".....that Charley is not 3....and some day will have to leave us.  It's that 3 year olds LOVE the word "No"....and that's their right.....that MS is part of my life and none of us have any guarantees.

I think really, our whole lives we have to "let go"....we let go of the illusions we have of lovers.  We "let go" of what we thought our lives would look like.....we "let go" of our childhood, we watch our parents age and we realize we need to "let go" of the idea that they will live forever, and we switch places, and eventually are the care givers.

And in this "letting go" we realize we gain so much more....if we are patient we learn that there was something so much better than we ever imagined.

And so, today, I am thankful for the things I've had to "let go" of have come back to me in ways I never thought possible, and I enjoy that the act of "letting go" will all in all make me a better spinner.....and for that I am grateful.

I Did It!!!

I have always wanted to knit or crochet....I've had some people teach me, but it never stuck.  And so...when I went to the Spin Off and saw people spinning and came home and told Gordon I wanted a spinning wheel, he told me I should probably learn to knit or crochet.  And so I went to You Tube and tried to learn, but it still didn't work.  And then one night when I couldn't sleep, I saw the way crocheting worked....and it made sense and I tried it, watched the video again, and I did it.  It took me 3 weeks to make my first dish cloth, and then I thought "I crochet" and I looked at some patterns and realized I had a lot more to learn.

And so I practiced dish cloths....

And then I found a tutorial for a scarf....and I tried it....and I made one!!!!!!

And so....me the girl who loved fiber but only could felt now has a skill that she can use to make things.  And I feel proud.

Both my sister and my mom are good artists....I can't draw to save my life....and so as a result I've never thought of myself as artistic....I can cook and bake but I'm not creative, I can follow a recipe.  I sew, but it's the same thing, following a pattern and then you get what you want.

For some reason this makes me feel creative and artistic....I've built something with my hands....and it's one more skill that allows you to simplify....and so I also realize that sewing and writing and eventually spinning require the artistic talents I thought I was lacking....artists come in all shapes and sizes....I've learned that from my own artist husband.

And so tonight I celebrate that I have a skill that I've wanted to have my whole life....and tomorrow when I'm freezing my bum off with my co-workers, I will have a scarf that I made to keep my ears and head and neck warm....and I will be proud.

From the time that Charley and I first met at the Everett Animal Shelter in April of 2002, we have been inseparable...at times it has felt like him and I against the world....and we were happy....and content....a team....and I have always felt blessed.

And then one day, Gordon came to our house....and Charley....because he is a good judge of character....welcomed Gordon into our pack without a second thought....it was like Charley had been waiting for him his whole life....like we both were....and so we welcomed Gordon into our pack....and the 3 of us were happy.

And then....because I thought Charley should have an heir, we went to the Shelter again and found a sweet Havanese-Yorkie mix who was afraid of dogs, grass, stairs and loud noises....and we took him home because he was so cute....and Charley welcomed him, was a gracious host and has been great with having this little boy in our pack....and we were happy....

And so Corky grew and changed and our pack enjoyed our time together....and we loved each other and lived our little life.

And then our girls came....the plan was for Charley to have a job....but Mamma was protective and butted him....but we all learned to live together and love each other....and Corky played with the girls as much as a little dog can with goats....and parts of our hearts were opened by these beautiful girls....and we lost mamma, and we clung to each other even more.  Through all of this Charley continued to be gracious and seemed to enjoy this new part of our lives.....and we became a herd....and it was good.

And so....we decided to have a cat join our herd....and gracious Charley welcomed this calm, respectful, funny cat named Nigel into our herd.

And so....2 became 3....and 3 became 4....and 4 became 7.....and then 6....and now 7.....I am blessed that my companion who knows my heart better than me has embraced this "Herd Life" we have been blessed with.....and I am blessed by the love that each of the creatures I share my hill with and the joy that their presence gives me.