Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Year of the Goats

So tonight I sit on my couch.....drinking martinis....watching the Twilight Zone Marathon I reflect on the past year and all that it has brought with it.  It was my first full year of life as a married woman.  It has been an absolute blessing to spend this year with a very special man who is a friend....a split apart....a guy who understands me more than anyone I have ever known....and he gets me completely....and yet he still seems to enjoy my company...and for that I am eternally grateful.


For Christmas last year, Gordon got me goats....and so a dream of decades came true.  And so this year, the focal point of the Stewarts was goats.  The first 3 months of the year were spent planning housing, building housing, figuring out where they should go, learning what goats do.  And then in March Layla, Daisy and Calendula came and joined our herd.  And I was in bliss.

What we learned was that all the books in the world can't show you what real life shows you.  And so in August our Layla got sick....well she had been sick....but she got sicker and I sat with her, called her "other mamma", prayed, talked to the vet and the heart wrenching decision was made to let her go.

And all this while I was at work....across the water....and I became angry....and our vet came back so I could be with her when her time came to leave us....and I left my car on the other side.

And so at 11 o'clock at night as our sweet mamma lay in her house...well her remains were there....I bawled in the ferry station saying I can't do this any more....We both can't work 60 hours a week and expect our goats to be OK....and so I gave notice and applied to 2 jobs on the Island....one I wanted, one with benefits but at a horrid place.

In the midst of this goat life, other things happened....we started talking about chickens....Gordon ran for "Mister South Whidbey" and the fair came and went, and I won a blue ribbon.....and we found a church home which only has helped us, as a couple and individuals....knowing and trusting in something....someone bigger than yourself only makes for a more peaceful existence.


We spent a long weekend at a lake by Mt. Ranier and our souls were renewed.  We sat at the lake with our dogs and did nothing else....Gordon fished, I read....and we just let our souls refill.


I took a job closer to home without the benefits I had grown accustomed to.  But I loved it....I love it....and I relish in the fact that I have a 15 minute commute.

Gordon became Mister South Whidbey.....we pressed apples and made hard cider....oh and for the first time in my life my tomatoes ripened....the rest of my garden was horrible....but the tomatoes were beautiful....next year will be better.  I had always thought I was a good gardener, it turns out I just had good soil....but you live and learn.










And so....as we come to the end of this amazing year....a year full of goats, dreams, hand made gifts, illness, sadness, joy, victories and clinging to each other as we have fierce conversations about difficult things....I think how we've grown....as a couple....as two people with strong wills and passions and minds of our own.  I'm grateful that in the balance of life, we have come out on top....continuing to be grateful for the beauty of our Island, our humble simple home filled with a garden that creates yummy peas and tomatoes and horrid stringy carrots, 2 dogs who enjoy frisbee, beaches, mushroom hunting and sitting on the couch....3 goats (2 still running around) who run and play when we let them out....who follow me everywhere and like to watch Charley catch frisbees and balls as Corky barks and runs.


I'm wiser....better....more in love....and grateful for each and every miracle I shared with my husband on this little hill between a bay and a highway....all kept together by my husband's passion and the restaurant that will always keep us away from each other on New Year's Eve.

Thank you Wabi Sabi Hill.....God....Gordon....Layla....Cali....Daisy.....Corky.....Charley....the Ferry...my Honey Bears for teaching me lessons and giving me so much to be grateful for.


Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Longest Night of the Year

December is such a magical time of year....and the change of season is my favorite.  There is something magical about the way things are this time of year.
It's a time for silent reflection....for gratitude....a time to celebrate family, both our family of origin and our family of choice.



As a family Gordon and I work very hard to remember what this time is about....it's not about presents, it's about the sweetness of this time, about keeping Christmas in your heart.



And so this year we made our own gifts....felting, crocheting, sewing, baking, making Limoncello.  I've ordered a few things on line....none of which are here....but they will be....or they won't.

As a gift, Gordon had a customer who is also one of Santa's elves come over and meet the girls and find out what they'd like this season.


And so tonight....everything is not done....I yelled at a woman from UPS (it really is their fault)....I'm fighting a cold....and I'm sitting by my tree on the shortest night of the year and I am remembering all we have, and all I'm grateful for.


I'm grateful for my parents, my aunts uncles and cousins, my sister and her amazing children.

I'm grateful for my inlaws...the fact that we are all still here....able to tease each other and love each other....I'm thankful for the babies who've come into our lives this year (both our friends and families)....I'm thankful that all the babies I know who have come into this world this year have a circle of love and support and I never worry for their futures because they will be supported and loved and taught by adults who have their best interests in heart.

I'm grateful...as always....for my amazing husband and his smile....his support and his love.  I'm thankful that when I am sick he does all he can to help me get better....he even says to me "Today will be a resting day....don't do anything."

And so I ramble...sitting on my couch surrounded by my sweet boys and my girls are in their house warm and cozy....waiting....waiting....for Spring, for Santa Paws, for us to play with them.  My husband is at work doing what he does and we wait and prepare for our Holiday Celebration.  And we are grateful for this quiet gentle life we share.