Yesterday we took the dogs to the beach.....it was beautiful because it was the first time we've taken both dogs to the beach and Corky went into the water, and got up to his chin....he was brave and he trusted us. Charley caught sticks in the water and seemed to really enjoy himself too. After the dogs tired themselves out we went to our chairs and I read and Gordon napped.
While reading we noticed two school-aged boys playing. I was enjoying them play because they weren't my charges.....the only responsibility I had was to call 911 if the boys knocked each other's heads off. So, I sat back and watched.
Being a person who doesn't have children, but has spent her entire professional life working with children, I've very seldom had the opportunity to just sit back and watch kids do what they're going to do without intervening.....and so, I sat back and watched these boys' play unfold. And it was fascinating to me.
These two boys playing in the water at the beach were being wild...just playing in the water. On the beach there was a stick in the sand, the smaller boy pulled the stick out and announced, "I have Excallaber!!!!" The other boy watched him as he danced around flinging this stick....I have to admit this was pretty hard for me because I've been conditioned (because I care for other people's children) to redirect this kind of play. This boy did not appear to have any idea where his personal space began or ended....he spun the stick in the air.....once I let go of the need to remind him to be safe with his stick, I sat back and watched....and it was fun.
Finally the other boy found his own stick and the two began to do sword play with their sticks. And they played, every once in a while the smaller boy would say, "New rule, you can't hit that hard!" and the bigger boy would not hit as hard. They started splashing and hitting with their sticks. I was riveted.....I had to know how this was going to end.....because the logical ending would be that one of the boys would knock the other boy's head off.....I've always kind of believed that without adult intervention, that would be what would happen. (I need to digress in that I have worked with children who would be capable of knocking the other child's head off with the stick....or I have worked with children exposed to violence and having another child come at them with a stick would be overwhelming and they might react).....and so I watched this play continue.
And now this game they were calling "War" involved mud throwing....and they threw, but then the smaller boy said, "New rule, you can't throw mud"....and the bigger kid invoked the newer rule: "New rule, you CAN throw mud!!!!" and so this went on for a few more minutes, and finally the bigger kid started walking away, the smaller one yelling, "You CAN'T just LEAVE war!!!" and the bigger kid said, "But I am."
And so the game was over.....I was fascinated to see that the game ended without someone getting hurt. They were allowed to explore the sticks and the mud and play violently (no mention of video games or TV shows).....they problem solved....and the game ended when it became boring to the older kid.
This was amazing to me....these two boys played in a way they would never be able to in a group setting.....they played violently....aggressively.....the way boys want to play, but so often are told they can't. I loved it....and I was proud of these boys who played with sticks and didn't get their heads knocked off.
Something for me to think about.......
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