My thinking was that fairy tales aren't real....and the "handsome prince" is never going to come and rescue you....so there's no point using your imagination on such frivality.....that girls need to be strong and take care of themselves....they must know that they are the ones who will rescue them...they can't rely on some "guy" to do it. I very quickly changed this for the simple fact that all children need fantasy, and imagination and dragons and dinosaurs and crowns and capes and all the things that make childhood what it is.
But.....if I were to be completely honest with myself....what made me so opposed to "princess play"? I loved it as a child. I would spend hours standing on the hearth of our fireplace lip synching to "Cinderella", "Snow White", "The Wizard of Oz" and dancing to "The Music Box Dancer" or acting out "Little House on the Prairie" (this was in between lining up my stuffed animals and giving them names and taking attendance).....fantasy was my whole life. Pretending that I was a beautiful princess, or a strong prairie girl with a dog who didn't need a leash was what I clung to.....I was waiting for my prince to come....and to rescue me....and I certainly wanted to "Live Happily Ever After".....or at least make my own butter and be with a dog who didn't need a leash.
And so my life moved on....and as a socially awkward chubby girl with weird wavy hair I quickly learned that "Love was meant for beauty queens....and not ugly duckling girls like me".....and I soon figured out that there was never going to be a prince on his steed who was going to sweep me up and take me to his castle. And so I think I got a little bitter. In my twenties my friends all married and I felt just a little stuck and still awkward, and so I went to gay bars with my friends....went to school got a job with a retirement plan because again I knew.....I wasn't going to find "true love" so I better take care of myself....I would have guy friends....but not a guy who loved me more than anything....certainly I was not destined to ever be someone's princess.....and my handsome prince was going to be a beautiful red dog with a fox tail who DID love me more than anyone else (and he didn't need a leash)....and I think I was content....but jaded....and certainly against any idea of "Princesses and Princes".
But then....when I was about to turn 40.....everything changed......my prince came.....he took me to a magical land that I was carried to by "ferries"....he had a gray "steed" and he showed me that dreams do come true.....I had forgotten.....he turned me into a believer. I even got to be a "princess" for a day at our beautiful wedding. And our "Happily Ever After" consists of goats who will be milkers....and we will make cheese with that milk....and dogs without leashes.....and cider presses and mushroom kits......our castle is a little yellow house that doesn't hold much heat and hardly has any storage....but it's "our'n" and we love it.....and yes things aren't perfect....but what is? And he even wears his crown and has a robe.
So I wish I could go back to 36 year old Kaycee thinking she was doing right by the girls in her center and say, "Dreaming is good"....certainly Disney is too commercial....but princesses aren't bad....it's the kind of play that you only get once in a lifetime.....and just because the dream isn't exactly like it is in the books....it's still a dream.....and it's what makes a girl powerful and beautiful.....and yes there is disappointment.....but life IS beautiful....and if you quiet down and listen, you can find the beauty....and you can dream....and your dreams can change....but they can come true.....and there is a "Somewhere over the Rainbow"....and it can be right in our own backyard.
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