Picking Blackberries

Out sweet Layla is pretty sick.  Yesterday Dr. Moody (the large animal vet here) came by to visit her....he gave her some shots, took some tests and talked to Gordon.  I stayed home from work today so I could be with her and keep an eye on her and her girls and Gordon could focus on work.  I feel bad because at work they are incredibly short staffed, I may even get in trouble....but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where I need to be.....with my girls.

And so, this morning I began to pick blackberries.....I love tedious jobs where you lose yourself.  I am by nature an introvert and I like to just space out sometimes, I'm not sure if I think or not, I just focus on the task and do what I'm doing....I find it peaceful.  Today as I was picking the berries Charley and Corky were with me, just sitting in the sun, watching me.  The beauty of that is Corky has always been afraid of grass, and likes to sit inside anytime I'm working outside....apparently he's learning....and today he hopped through grass taller than him in the hot sun waiting, exploring, working on being a dog.....they were good companions.  I also threw blackberry vines over to the healthy girls, because they're trying to get to mamma, who's in isolation in the goat house, so they were able to focus on something else too.

I then went to give Layla her treatment, and give her fresh water.  She looked a little perky, so after I was done, I just snuggled up next to her and scratched her head, petted her neck.  I then decided to lay my head on a straw bale and rest next to sweet Layla.....I started reading a book, but she wanted no part of that....she wanted me to lay with her and pet her....and so I did.....I closed my eyes and listened to the healing wind brush through the house....I then started to pray for her, for us.  I then did what I do during nap at work, I breathed yoga breaths and put my "white light" on Layla.....I began to visualize a photo that Vicky sent us of her with a baby Cali eating grass....in that photo she is young, the picture of health, next to her baby who is still with her.....I then visualized all the people I knew alive and dead who would understand animals, and would want health for her.

We layed there quietly listening to the breeze, I watched our maple tree sway in the wind and brought all the good energy I knew those people would  bring to her.  I remembered my Grandmother who nursed a kitten with a bottle and raised him to be a beautiful cat, who had 5 dogs in a tiny house and loved all animals.....I remembered the vet assistant at my old vet clinic who would always help us and loved and rescued animals her whole life and who passed away about 8 years ago, but whose presence I still feel sometimes when I'm worried about my creatures.  Layla and I just were, listening, breathing being together.  I sang a little, and she slept.

When I got up, she looked a little refreshed, certainly grateful for the company.

And so today I called in to work....I was honest because I don't want to bring any negative energy into this situation.  I'm sure my co-workers and boss will not understand.....but this is my Herd....these are the creatures I have been entrusted with.....and when I am getting ready to leave this earth and I am thinking back, I will not remember that I went to work and came up with a lunch plan and tried to bring calm to another day....what I will remember is that I spent a morning picking blackberries with my boys, and rested with my sweet, loving Mamma Layla.....and will know I made the right choice.